#018 clients from hell

Freelace clients often blow my mind with their retardation. One from today:

Client: We need some labels similar to the ones our friends are doing in the picture. They need to be 10mm (w) x 5mm (h)
Me: You mean cm?
Client: oh yeah!
Me: are you sure that's the right way round? The ones in the picture are portrait
Client: what do you mean portrait?
Me: ah...like. 'up and down' instead of 'sideways' which we call...'landscape?'
Client: how come?
Me: *sigh* When you take a photograph and take a 'portrait' of someone you take it...up and down, when you take a photograph of some...hills for example, 'landscape', you usually go...lengthways.
Client: But I've taken photos of hills up and down before and they turned out GREAT!!!

Me: *slowly props himself up on ledge of 14th floor balcony*