Well that's nice dear

#107 New Skins series cast

2010-08-16T13:48:00.001-07:00

Umm...and the standout babe(s) would be....where?

Nice casting assholes.

#106 Stationery boners

2010-07-21T17:07:00.000-07:00

If you're anything like me and need a mop everytime you open the office stationery cupboard/walk into Gordon Harris, you've probs taken the quality not quantity movement. These two gems are my current stationary obsessions.

The About Blank notebook - no logos, opens fully FLAT, binding where you can rip pages without other pages falling out, opaque paper AND white lines printed on one side so you can write, or ignore and draw. *salivates*

And, Urban outfitters Get the hint adhesive labels.
I can't fucking wait till they arrive, back ordered for another two weeks, (FUCK THAT) I went nuts and bought three packs of the bastards (FUCK YEAH).

Effective office communication through bringing the office LOLZ. Genius.

#105 Rainbows

2010-07-21T14:51:00.000-07:00

Now all I need is a unicorn.

#104 Back to the future

2010-07-07T13:44:00.000-07:00

In case you missed it, Monday was 'the future.'

*sigh* Oh to still be a child of the eighties convinced that right now we'd be Tony Stark.

#103 Badge fun

2010-07-07T13:00:00.000-07:00

We have one of those guys who comes into work with a different collection of books/toys/carseat organiser-esque type crap each week, that've been gathering dust at their distribution warehouse. They sit there, we have a nosey, and although I've totally banned myself from buying any more from him, in the last two weeks I've bought a badge maker set and a battery operated toy rooster that dances to music and squarks when you wring it's neck. *hangs head*

When I head to Splendour in OZ this month I'm missing out on a family reunion, so thought it'd be awesome to make my parentals and sisters badges with my face on them for the LOLZ. UNTIL I FOUND OUT I CAN'T GET REFILLS AFTER I'VE USED THE TEN. Which places me in a bit of a conundrum as all of a sudden the ten I have now seem real valuable and I wanna do something amazing with them...

More here.

#102 Seaweed

2010-07-07T12:48:00.000-07:00

http://tellnoone.co.uk/

#101 Digital Holga

2010-07-05T12:50:00.000-07:00

Nice wee project by industrial designer Saikat Biswas, a digital Holga that retains just the right amount of quirky Holga-radcore-ness. Nice one.

More>>

#100 That u hommes?

2010-06-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

"Look...haaarder...'
*touches water as ripples change Simba's reflection to that of his father *

Appearing on SHOWstudio.com, a men’s fashion editorial for the September issue of Vogue Hommes Japan features Gaga dressed as man. Sorry, I mean her mysterious gender bending alter ego 'Jo Calderone'...

Mail online

#099 The Bare essentials

2010-06-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

A self-initiated project by Ashwin Patel, the stereotypical ‘must haves’ of the graphic designer -from mind set and values to tools and appliances.

Get your hands on one here!

#098 Boomin' Granny

2010-06-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

Whenever I read something this ridiculous it's pretty much guaranteed to have happened in Oklahoma. Or Hamilton.

An 86- year old woman is currently suing the El Reno police department for tasering her (one would picture while crazily brandishing a rifle Beverly Hillbillies styles - but no)
BEDRIDDEN AND HOOKED UP TO AN OXYGEN VENTILATOR.

Hahaha what the hell?

Her grandson's account of events, is that after calling for emergency medical technitions to stop by to help with her medications - 10 officers turned up at the door instead. After telling them to leave they 'became "needlessly aggressive", then "stepped on her oxygen hose until Varner began to suffer oxygen deprivation" before hitting her twice with a taser.' the second hitting her in the chest and causing her to pass out.

Police claim she pulled a kitchen knife from under her pillow and said: "I want to die. I did not call you so get the fuck out of my house."

*crickets sound*

A bit like a fist fight with Steven Hawkins isn't it really (although I imagine he's perfected the 'wheelchair leg swipe' or has some crazy fucked up batman gadgets hidden away for such an occasion lets be fair).

#097 Shredding it

2010-06-29T16:25:00.000-07:00

Italian street atists Sten & Lex developed a shredded stencil technique, making stencils and pasting them on a panel of wood as a poster. They then paint the whole board black, when it’s dry , remove the stencil leaving some parts on the board, and rounding it off the stencil is destroyed and becomes part of the poster.
Nice one.

Check out more at their flickr

#096 Jay Tweedie likes

2010-06-29T15:37:00.001-07:00

lik & dislike store.

#095 Tony Toni Tone

2010-06-29T14:33:00.001-07:00

Is it just me or are TV 3 presenters all of a sudden real 'down' with NZ.

Seeing Toni Marsh still presenting the weather last night on 3 news, I was pleasantly surprised the little minx was still going strong, when all of a sudden my ears pricked up at '...a few clouds still mincing around in the arvo.'

Mincing around?!! Weather presenters say mincing around now? But wait, while processing said 'mincing' I then get hit with '...rain will still be cranking it out later in the day.' Cranking it out?!!

No need to be 'down' Toni, we're all sitting here waiting for the 'sun/cloud/rain' symbols while we picture you bouncing on the treadmill at Les Mills, in tights with a thrown up ponytail...

#094 Feelin it

2010-06-28T15:12:00.001-07:00

I remember seeing this National Geographic pic last year sometime and staring at it for ages buzzing out for ages about them supporting each other in grief. A gaggle of Chimpanzee's consoling each other, hand on shoulder styles, while one of their clan who passed away of Heart failure was wheeled away for burial.
Animals aye.

I relieved my childhpood of wanting to work at a zoo, until I found out the logistics actually looked better in the brochure, and the chances of me becoming the Lion whisperer as I'd planned were far from the truth. When I was at prep school I used to tell people I wanted to become a Marine Biologist and study the rare amazonian river dolphin cause it sounded real brainy and fuck me people bought it. *flicks quiff*

Stumbled across this vid yesterday where a dog gets hit by a car on a busy motorway, is spotted by another dog, who dodges traffic to get out to him, and CAREFULLY DRAGS HIM TO SAFETY USING HIS PAWS.

I know.

#093 ROFL

2010-06-24T20:25:00.001-07:00

#092 Free fall

2010-06-23T18:12:00.000-07:00

Blowing up a whole pack of balloons last weekend for my niece and nephew without needing my asthma inhaler, all of a sudden seems less of an achievement...

#091 50 Centaur

2010-06-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

...for the record, I'd probably give Canned 50 Centaur meat a bash too...

#090 The new white meat

2010-06-23T12:23:00.000-07:00

You'd think selling sparkly Canned Unicorn Meat on April first being a gag was quiiiite obvious, but no. Lawyers from the American Pork Board have proven they apparently have too much time on their hands and/or sit on their sense of humour waiting with baited breath for intellectual property violations. (One would suggest getting out more)

Published on thinkgeek.com the Canned Unicorn Meat - with the byline 'the new white meat' - seems to have the Pork board lawyers with their knickers in a twist about the fact it comes so close to their trademarked registration of 'The other white meat' hahaha *slaps forehead* The first page of their twelve page cease and desist letter below (click to enlarge)

From thinkgeek's heartfelt apologetic press release

"It was never our intention to cause a national crisis and misguide American citizens regarding the differences between the pig and the unicorn," said Scott Kauffman, President and CEO of Geeknet. "In fact, ThinkGeek's canned unicorn meat is sparkly, a bit red, and not approved by any government entity."

I'd totally eat Unicorn meat just to shit rainbows...

#089 Chk Chk Boooooo

2010-06-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

Oh god. The latest Clare Werbeloff fifteen minutes of fame milking highlight? Gracing the last print cover of Ralph (the last print issue ever) in leopard print hotpants and talking about her new Australian 'presenting role'.

Must admit when I watched it again I laughed cause it was all so ludacris. Gotta give the girl credit for capitilising on the fact that half of Australia wanted to bone the hell out of her stupid lying ass...

Groundbreaking interview with Ralph here. (minimal braincells necessary)

#088 Ride me inside me it's supertight.

2010-06-15T23:46:00.000-07:00

Pop starlet Jackie Q (the character Rose Byrne plays in her new comedy Get Him To The Greek)'s new ridiculously oversexualised and over the top comedic modern pop pisstake 'Supertight'

Bahahaha man I love Rose Byrne.

#087 Ming makes cupcakes

2010-06-15T22:54:00.000-07:00

I would actually smash the shit out of any of these cup sized cakes of amazingness.

Jump to Ming Makes Cupcakes

#086 Semi-Permanent

2010-06-14T13:19:00.001-07:00

It's that time of year again kids, time to dust off your hipster bingo cards and start stamping off the hair quiffs, mac books and iphones, banter about Photoshop content aware fill, pass around your business card, and cry into your Carona about how everyone seems to be kicking arse with their self initated design business's while pretending it was the lime squirting in your eye.
I jibe. (Kind of.)

I've been a regular at Semi-Permanent in Sydney, and now I'm back in Nz am psyched about some quality home-grown speakers. Early birds are still available for in Auckland for what are two inspirational days of the year for sparking that little something that's been sitting dormant through the monotony of the daily design grind. Then there's the after party, where the real work starts.

www.semipermanent.co.nz

#085 the Lost Boys

2010-06-14T13:06:00.001-07:00

After the Missionaries of Hate doco, I went on a documentary binge with the U.S. series Vanguard. Their latest installation which airs in the U.S. tomorrow, follows the secret cost to young African's trafficked to Europe, under the guise of gaining European contracts.

It's estimated that 20,000 young West African players are currently stranded throughout Europe--trafficked there by predatory agents who snatch them off the fields of Ghana and Senegal and Cameroon promising contracts with big European teams and then abandon them when those tryouts either don't materialize or don't go well.

Vanguard travels from the soccer pitches of Ghana to black market soccer games in Paris exposing the shady underworld of the sport at the forefront of the world mind. It's a well known fact that the search for new talent in Africa exists by FIFA but little is done, and with the amount of money being generated by the world cup in Africa, one would think that giving a little back wouldn't be out of the question...

Check the trailer.

#084 Gaspard

2010-06-13T13:09:00.000-07:00

Speaking of French obsessions, my new French Husband, Gaspard. (How apt.)

#083 Mrzyk & Moriceau

2010-06-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

I saw this vid a while ago for Sebastien Tellier's song Look, loved, and went on a internet wander through the work of creators Petra Myrzyk & Jean-Francois moriceau.

Just stumbled across it again and am starting to come to terms with an unhealthy obsession with the French.

Jump to more of their quirky awesomeness with Air's- Sing Sang Sung

#082 What the font?

2010-06-11T14:08:00.000-07:00

Answer four simple questions and find out 'which type are you?'

(Van Doesburg seeks like-minded typeface for open relationship/walks on the beach.
No time wasters.)

#081 Visual Mixtape

2010-06-10T16:53:00.000-07:00

A self initiated project by Noe Emberson. 25 of his favourite albums, title/lyrics/shapes and pics from his Reaching For Imperfection photo series.

Ironic I post this after taking the piss out of the vintage formula but these are awesome.

Jump to the whole series.

#080 Hipstermatic

2010-06-10T15:23:00.000-07:00

#079 Audio bubble

2010-06-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

Dear new Wesc headphones. Thankyou for helping me not physically harm anyone at work. From Jay.

#078 Tumeric's the trick

2010-06-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

So while investigating which curry place had the honour of delivering winter spicey goodness right to our laps yesterday, Little India's website turned us into a google frenzy about the health benefits of Tumeric. Hooooly shitcakes. Why are we not all SMEARING Turmeric all over out bodies/ sprinkling it on our coffee at every opportunity. It's like a superfood on crack.

From preventing tumours developing, to depression treatment, disinfectant and liver cleansing...even preventing breast cancer from spreading to the lungs in mice!

(Concern at the fact Mice somewhere in the world are being injected with said spices noted.)

Jump to 20 Health Benefits of Tumeric.

#077 Design for Life

2010-06-06T20:26:00.000-07:00

I've been looking for a Reality TV buzz for a couple of months, and aaalmost thought I'd found it in reality series 'Design for life'.

French Designer Philippe Starck (known as 'french designer of hotels,
transparent louis XV-style chairs and iconic lemon squeezers') is an outspoken supporter of renewable + democratic design, and definately a watchable/likeable character. He challenges 14 english industrial design contestants to create a product/design/concept that follows a design challenge he sets at the beginning. All in the hope of being the last designer standing, to win a 6 month placement at his innovative Paris HQ.

*sigh* It's not the Project Runway + Dragons Den hybrid I wanted, but I'm only up to Ep4, (where they've all been given a rark up). Hopefully things improve and it becomes more than a reality show with 14 designers, coming up with shit ideas, and managing to showcase their shit presentation skills at the same time...

#076 Euphorie

2010-06-06T14:34:00.000-07:00

Inter diciplinary collective + boundary pushing + lighting insanity = 1024 Architecture.
Original founders of EXYZT in Paris, 1024 architecture live performances make you feel so smashed you won't mind sober driving (cause I won't be.)

Check out more madness.

#075 Willy Vergina

2010-06-05T20:26:00.000-07:00

Amaaaazing + eerily calm wooden sculptures by Italian artist Willy Verginer. WOODEN.

Jump to his site.

#074 Eat da poo poo

2010-06-04T23:32:00.000-07:00

Oh dear. It seems the misinterpretation of homo's has reached new levels with the Ugandan hate campaign to outlaw ALL homosexual acts. Which of course, always involve eating poo apparently.

I know this should be making me angry, but the sheer ridiculousness of it all, and an African accent bearing Pastor repeatedly using the phrase 'Eat da poo poo', is too much for me to handle haha (I'm guessing he hasn't seen Two girls one cup.)

See the disturbingly sad and misguided doco Missionaries of Hate here

(Surely there's an eat da poo poo dubstep remix already...)

#073 Weeeeeeeeight a minute

2010-06-04T17:10:00.000-07:00

Ah, why am I not wearing wrist weights when I'm out boozing?!!!

Am I missing something, or did I just come up with THE BRAINIEST BICEP INCIDENTAL EXERCISE IDEA EVER...

#072 Crybaby

2010-06-03T16:58:00.001-07:00

Slays me EVERY time.

#071 All Saints Cropped Military Boot

2010-06-01T13:04:00.001-07:00

WANT.

(Times like these you wish you had a child to sell...)

#070 Oil be right mate

2010-05-31T15:40:00.001-07:00

Graphic designers. Every brand recovery managers worst nightmare...

#069 Ditch the pitch

2010-05-31T00:27:00.000-07:00

To be honest, my stomach churned when the 'There's nothing like Australia' tourism pitch was introduced in March.

There's nothing like 'insert country here'.
Uniquely 'insert country here'.
There's no place like 'insert country here'.

Wow. Groundbreaking stuff.

Well to round it all off, some bastard got paid more than I'll make in a lifetime to make this 90 second clip that was 'revealed' (in a 'slip over in a puddle/skirt around your head' kinda way) today. Essentially, a moving collation of tacky 90's Australian istock clips, to the tune of twangy Australians, singing a song (that well could have been written by an eight year old), about themselves.

*throws hands up in air* Just genius.

#067 Photobooth mask

2010-05-30T14:13:00.001-07:00

Hahaha, this photobooth mask by Mark Pernice brought the lolz.

#066 Days with my father

2010-05-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

It's funny how sometimes you stumble across something that is so relevant to your own life, you begin to wonder whether you're in the driving seat.

My mum's not well, I've come back to NZ to be with the fam, have already started collating her best recipe's into a wee gem of a cookbook, and my mind is filled with so many more must-do things to get down all the hilaaarious pieces of gold that make her who she is over the coming months; on top of just....hanging out.

Philip Toledano's 97 year old father had short term memory loss, after his mother passed away and him having to tell his father she'd 'gone to Paris for a while' everytime he asked where she was, he started documenting his visits.

A cute, honest, hilarious, beautifully photographed and written tribute to the last three years of a vigorously charming mans life.

www.dayswithmyfather.com

#064 PSD

2010-05-30T13:02:00.001-07:00

I see what you did there.

#063 Thanks a bunch

2010-05-27T16:47:00.000-07:00

Leah Dieterich's mother always told her to write thank you notes. So she does. To everything.

I tried to do this ages ago when Oprah started bleating about writing down things you were thankful for on a daily basis (back when I was a try-hard middle aged woman). I found I'd have about a million when I was boozed but would get real blues when I couldn't think of anything past Blue Powerade and Bacon Egg rolls/Eggs Bene when I was hungover.

Jump to thxthxthx.com

#062 Mac Book Book Book

2010-05-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

I remember seeing these Book book cases a while back and salivating all over my Semi Permanent ticket. Handmade one of a kind leather hardback velvety soft interior goodness for your Macbook. I even contemplated a new mac just so I could get one and now I'm in the market for a new lappy I ACTUALLY NEED ONE!

*fist pumps*

#061 Diamond eyes

2010-05-25T15:11:00.000-07:00

Still beating my ~~dick~~ drum like it owes me money (in a crywank emo kinda way).

#060 Checkpoint Charlie

2010-05-25T14:49:00.000-07:00

Oh god. Just when you thought the world had dried up of things to make a dubstep remix of...

#059 Notre Jour Viendra

2010-05-25T13:48:00.000-07:00

Not surprisingly after a constant stream of undercurrently dark music clips, the anticipation for Romain Gavras' debut feature film has him buzzed as the next big thing. Already from the teaser you can tell there's that dark, uneasy rawness teamed with amazing cinematography that he's become so well known for.

Notre Jour Viendra (Our Morning will come) was originally named Redheads (Oh god not again with the Gingers Rom) with a sales synopsis that reads :

"What do you do when you're a red-haired teenage loser with no friends except for an older guy, your shrink? When everyone hates you, especially your family? When all your peers make fun of you and kick you around? The answer: you and your loser buddy blow all the cash you can get your hands on to buy a sportscar, you dress smart and you head for the land of redheads, Ireland. But what starts off as a search for an ideal, gradually escalates into a rampage of hate, violence and self-destruction."

*rubs hands together*

(Maybe not worksafe if you work for psycho's/a government department, there's boobies.)

#058 Driving me Loco

2010-05-25T12:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was trapsing through a friends facebook photos trying to judge her new boyfriend (he apparently Rulz and is lovely/amazing) and as I got the background story I found out he ran a rad little customised bike gig in Melbs.

Not surprisingly, if I was living in Melbs I'd be in Fitzroy (little Wellington) and I'd be more accustomed to lo-riding my ass everywhere as apposed to fixie pixie-ing around for sure. I have zero ass surface area which proves to be an issue. (First documented Fixie backflip here in Japan on the weekend P.s.)

If you're in Melbs check out Locolowriders, get a base and start customising, it'll be sorted by the time summer gets there and I hear on good authority the guys are lovely/amazing/etc...

#057 Up there

2010-05-24T14:57:00.000-07:00

In a world of pixels and pantones, choosing a gruellingly labour intensive solution to visual advertising creative seems sooooo ridiculous.

This short film about large-scare hand painted advertising in New York makes me happy that even though it might seem nuts, there's still people working their passionate asses off making sure the result of such a dying artform is still feasible. Even if it is cheaper and faster to print on vinyl...

#056 Ga ga ooh la la

2010-05-24T13:45:00.000-07:00

Well I'm glad I can stop arguing with my dad over whether Gaga has a penis or not, THAT conversation started getting old. It was bad enough trying to think of burnt toast in my first week back, where dad piped up everytime an advertisement for 'The perfect vagina' documentary popped up on TV...

Although, I'm not sure I'll be telling him about the 'proof', Times of London columnist Caitlin Moran's report on her Berlin sex club VIP toilet experience, where Gaga pee'd through her fishnets/'offloaded some of those whiskeys' at a Berlin sex club.

This article makes me wanna party with Gaga so bad...

#055 Secret wall tattoo's

2010-05-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

Apparently Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age has being secretly drawing throughout the various hotel rooms he’s stayed in whilst on tour for years, the premise being simple; remove mirror/picture - draw pic (preferably Dali-esque and child like while under some sort of influence) - replace mirror/picture.

Turns out it's catching on. www.secretwalltattoos.com

#054 I love Wellington weather.

2010-05-20T20:01:00.000-07:00

#053 Le Fonze

2010-05-20T15:16:00.000-07:00

You'd think in this day and age you'd be able to buy anything on the net.
Think I can find Fonzie socks? No.

#052 The little things

2010-05-20T14:51:00.000-07:00

I just applied for my iPhone replacement after losing it, AGAIN. Last time I lost one, I borrowed my flatmate's Blackberry, and managed to lose that within 3 days (Sorry Amy).
Not only did I have to deal with the Vodafone guy giggling on the other end of the phone when I barred my number (like ACTUALLY giggling about how many times I'd lost a phone in 12 months - oh yes, there was many a cheap nokia scattered in there while waiting for replacements) but when making a police report, the police woman on the other end of the phone lectured me about getting a man bag.
I stopped myself at letting her know how many man bag's I'd lost and hung up the phone with my tail between my legs like I'd let down my mother.

So in light of using my $49 dollar nokia in the meantime, I've decided I'm actually enjoying not having the interboon, checking emails every five minutes, having to google something mid conversation to make a point clearer, and have been embracing looking up as I walk along the street and noticing a hell of a lot more than I did before.
(Admittedly I go to use my phone and 'pretend to be fossicking in my bag for something while I text' cause it's so unnattractive.)

Stumbled across this charming animation by Christian Borstlap (which is up for a D&D award) that reminded me about the little things.

(God, who am I kidding I hope my iPhone arrives soon I'm dying.)

#051 There's something about Annie Clark

2010-05-16T19:06:00.001-07:00

Nothing like an informal jam with the aim to record an album in a day, especially when covering some of the best albums ever created. And a bonus when there's 'no intention to 'add to' the original work or attempt to recreate the power of the original recording. Only to play music and document what happens.'
Jump to Record Club

This wee gem with Lead Vocals by Annie Clarke (who I LOVE) from St Vincent, a cover of INXS's 'Need you tonight' from 'Kick', tastes like hot chocolate...

#050 Love & Theft

2010-05-14T19:37:00.000-07:00

This totally reminds me of the day I got wasted at a house party and spent a whole hour trying to convince people the Garden Gnomes were 'dancing and digging to the music'...

#049 My parents were awesome.

2010-05-13T22:09:00.001-07:00

This is my Dad and his mate Maggie with 1 million dollars worth of weed in the 1970's. He was a cop, I was fat, and I used to tell people my dad would lock up their dads if they didn't leave me alone, which seemed to work quite well, until we got old enough my dad being a cop in small town NZ turned into the reason I'd get hidings.

So when I discovered this photo of a bust in the 70's in my dads photo box, nicked it and took it to school, my life got a whoooole lot more awesome.

'giz another look bro?!' 'yeah wait on bro' 'Phwoooooar, that's the most buds I've ever seen aow!!' 'million bucks worth' and they'd be like 'he smoke it all' and I 'd be all 'COURSE EGG WHAT D'YOU THINK' and slip it back all cool into my desk...

myparentswereawesome.tumblr.com

#048 I'm sorry. Maybe you weren't Listening...

2010-05-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

Ahahaha oh man, this has to be the most genius kiwi PR response to misinformed journalism I have seen in a short turnaround, in suuuch a long time.

After announcing a proposed alignment with Virgin Blue, the NZ Listener reported Air New Zealand (our 'quality' airline we're so very proud of) was to 'downgrade' their short-haul services and go 'determinedly downmarket' on it's Australian and Pacific routes.

This morning Air New Zealand's CEO Rob Fyfe released this wee piece of PR genius and will be putting his credit card behind a bar in Auckland tonight with hours of giggly high fiving reminiscent of a sales department making budget...

#047 Don't turn around (cause you're gonna see my heart breaking)

2010-05-12T23:48:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. Not like it's news that Indomie Mi Goreng noodles are THE epitome of GET IN MY BELLY snackery ever invented on the planet (think Sarah Silverman Baby Bell love).

Remember the day you first tried them, fell in LOVE, spotted them in the supermarket afterwards and looked both ways when you discovered you got five packs for under three bucks like it was some SICK JOKE and shuffled ten packs into your trolley before they could change the sign back?
I do.

Two packs at a time x a million servings later, the fateful day where my Mi Goreng love affair came to an abrupt halt, I casually turned the pack around and read the nutritional information while they bubbled away, and my heart sank lower than the day I discovered my best mate wasn't actually gay.

17 GRAMS OF FAT PER SERVING.

I feel like I've been decieved and lost a good friend/deleted them off facebook.
Meanwhile discovering I may as well have been eating 2 KFC thighs, 2 pieces of Pepperoni pizza or a bacon double cheeseburger all along...

#046 Wanna be on top?

2010-05-12T12:03:00.000-07:00

Maybe you're as naive as me, and thought Tyra Banks surely couldn't get any more annoying, or full of herself (bar eating her own FACE), but we were wrong. Oh boy were we wrong.

Tyra's publisher Delacorte Press have just announced her signing a deal for a series of fantasy novels on...wait for it...the 'world of modelling.' And wait. It's called....'Modelland'. Oh, and in case you don't know how to pronounce it, Tyra's website tells us it's pronounced “Model Land”. Phew, thanks Tyra. Tell us more, what exactly are these novels by Bankable books about?

""for all the girls and guys who want a lot more FANTASY in their lives and some fierceness and magic, romance and mystery, crazy and wild adventures, and yeah, some danger too."

*looks into space and smizes*

Of course the stories of the 'intoxibella's' (totally serious) showcase 'issues ranging from relationships to body image and empowering women of all ages.' Well of course they do. We all know the Tyra Banks show gave young women 'the 'girlfriend' they want to hang out with and the role model they needed', so now you've stopped your show, how are the lost young women of the world going to survive?!!!

#045 Do not be scared

2010-05-11T18:33:00.000-07:00

I love scoping round Etsy.com and mentally high-fiving crafty folk making money from making cool things and often get jealous I'm not doing the same.

Stumbled across Paul Revie's etsy page this morning, a signwriter and graphic designer who makes vinyl on glass boxes filled with 'had to be there moments', each with an eccentric stream of consciousness mental fart about where they came from.

(much like this really.)

#044 Wanna see some Michael Jackson moves?

2010-05-11T16:19:00.000-07:00

1984 in New Zealand, I'd just been given my first stonewash denim jacket (only to lose it at a blue light disco) and while the rest of the world tried to emulate the dance moves of one Michael Jackson, we too had our cardboard boxes and lino thrown down rewinding the moves of our homegrown MJ - The guy from the Poi-e video.

After being back in NZ for less than a week, mid-grieving about leaving Sydney, I finally went to see Boy and after being hit with Poi-e in the opening credits, I realised it was exactly the 88 minutes of slap in the face 'roots bro roots' therapy I needed.

Taika's new remixed vid (cut and sliced in a day) with scenes from the original Patea Maori club clip and Boy is the perfect blend of 1980's NZ, , and with NZ Music month in full force, the challenge to try and get Poi-E back to No.1 in the NZ charts by christmas is in full force.
Crazy horses for life.

(Maybe this time we'll all learn the words instead of just going hard out at the "Poooooi-eeeee" bit.)

#043 Marina Abramovic made me cry

2010-05-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

Normally I can't sit still for any longer than five minutes, even watching a movie often stresses me out, unless I'm so hungover my limbs have decided to pack it in and I'm crunched into the foetal position.

This morning I stumbled across this series of portraits on tumblr Marina Abramovic made me cry, taken during Yugoslavian artist Marina Abramovic's exhibition 'The artist is present' at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC. Known for her quirky performance art installations (based on stillness, silence and endurance) Abramovic sits in silence, and invites visitors to sit opposite her for as long as they choose.

Some batshit crazy people have apparently become addicted and have returned so many times security guards know them by name. Not sure if I feel like it's crazy, or sad, that it takes an performance art installation to remind humans that sometimes you just need to stop, reflect, and god forbid maybe try and connect with another human...

#042 ♥

2010-05-10T13:17:00.003-07:00

I see what you did there.

#041 Ugg Boots

2010-05-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

UGH boots.

Seems as though not much has changed with the Hutt Valley Mall Rat brigade since I've been living in Sydney. WHY do chicks continue to wear Ugg Boots in Public. *shakes fist* Surely you all got the memo about Pamela Anderson not even wearing them anymore when she discovered they were made from SheepSKIN instead of 'being shaven kindly' (honestly aye)

Unless of course you're this chick.

In which case, you're awesome...

#040 Goodbye eggs bene

2010-05-08T18:59:00.000-07:00

After a *cough* 'long lunch' on Friday (my first day I might add) all of a sudden it was 4am Saturday morning and I was already getting quiver lip'd about brunch. Quick nap and a 'where am I' moment later, I realised that Fidels was on the cards for brunch again now I was back on Wellies and did a wee internal fist-pump.

Couple of flat whites/durry combo's later, we go to order eggs bene and 'Fish on bubble and squeak with tomato and Hollandaise Sauce' comes out of my mouth.

Oh. My. God. Who would have known that in that split second my life would have got a whole lot more amazing.

Fish on Bubble and Squeak with hollandaise sauce for the hungover brunch WIN.

#039 Backstage pass

2010-05-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

Last month my dad got a tattoo on his arm and I was hell jealous that he'd beaten me to it, so I'm back trawling the net with tattoo's on the mind and stumbled across this real ooosh series of portraits by a Belgium artist Fab 5.
Jump to his flickr.

#038 Japanese town logos

2010-05-07T21:41:00.001-07:00

If there was a support group for people 'bordering on obsessive behaviour towards a good symbol' I'd be totally be president.

And someone would show me these Japanese town logos on cards at the end of my rehabilitation period with wires attached to my body to measure a response...

#037 Weng Weng

2010-05-05T20:52:00.000-07:00

Ah, excuse me? HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN/LOVED/BEEN CREEPED OUT BY THIS AMAZINGNESS BEFORE.

#036 iVictrola

2010-05-05T19:48:00.000-07:00

Yeah yeah, form follows function n all that jazz, but listening to amplified mono is totally worth it when it looks this radical.

There's no plugs or gimmics, the iPhone horn (a 1902's Magnavox horn that amplifies the sound through a walnut box) by Matt Richmond delivers enough sound to fill a room. And looks RAD.

#035 Splendour ticket mania enduced server meltdown

2010-05-05T18:07:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what the Moshtix website's face would look like if it was a person?

#034 Hair

2010-05-05T15:13:00.000-07:00

One time when I was a kid and bath's were all the rage, my uncle came to stay the night and mum had to vacuum the bath after he'd gone hahaha.

I remember my dad coming in and going 'Jesus! who shaved a bear in here?!!' and me laughing for about a year...

#033 What the fuck should I make for dinner?

2010-05-04T19:33:00.001-07:00

www.whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com

Dinner ideas stripped down to their barest form. Genius.

#032 Sweet treats!

2010-05-04T18:10:00.000-07:00

Another side project by the Frankie girls released today is their Sweet Treats recipe book. Following the success of Afternoon Tea (classic recipes from a collation of people's mums) Sweet Treats is another journey back to when sprinkle covered marshmallow filled icecream cones and candy hearts would make out eyes light up like the icecream truck tune.

Melt in your mouth Mint Patty's (like nanna used to make), Honeycomb (crush and sprinkle underneath chocolate mousse before it sets - got that from a Come dine with me episode where the lesbian made it for desert and the staunch christian woman who believed being a homo was wrong found it necessary to talk about it every five minutes, and by the end of the programme had admitted she'd 'lived with lesbians at uni', didn't wear underwear on the third dinner night and got smashed showing everyone how to pole dance on a door frame - it was fucking excellent) and Toffee Apples (these freakin blow kids minds) just to name a few...

Jump here for stockists!

#031 Oklah-oh-my-god you have to be kidding me

2010-05-04T16:47:00.000-07:00

Ok, so my friend Amy sent me a link recently to a blog post by Luke Ryan from Melbs, about new strict abortion measures introduced in Oklahoma. and I haven't stopped getting my knickers in a twist about the lack of empathy and compassion needed for someone to think this is ok.

"The Oklahoma Legislature voted Tuesday to override the governor’s vetoes of two abortion measures, one of which requires women to undergo an ultrasound and listen to a detailed description of the fetus before getting an abortion.

Though other states have passed similar measures requiring women to have ultrasounds, Oklahoma’s law goes further, mandating that a doctor or technician set up the monitor so the woman can see it and describe the heart, limbs and organs of the fetus. No exceptions are made for rape and incest victims."

Oh. My. God.

Cheers for making the abortion process even MORE traumatic and scarring than what it already is, and putting a safety mechanism in place so no-one can ever go for an abortion by accident without realising they actually have a FUCKING BABY INSIDE THEM.

Pretty sure they're already onto that one assholes.

#030 Personal bubble

2010-05-04T15:58:00.000-07:00

My family's such a hug/touch/small of back cradle kinda affair but the whole personal space bubble's still rampant and we still have issues with people who smell.

Funniest thing about Richard Renaldi's series Touching Strangers (where he approaches two or more strangers and asks them to pose for a photograph touching each other) is that you'd be forgiven for thinking a lot of these people actually knew each other...

#029 GILLES ET DADA Campaign

2010-05-01T21:58:00.000-07:00

Awesome new shoot for GILLES ET DADA. Jay Tweedie likes.

#028 Subversive Cross Stitch

2010-04-30T19:56:00.000-07:00

We used to make random crap for mum on mothers day, they were always shit but she loved that we were being 'crafty'

This year I reckon some Subversive Cross Stitch might be the go...

#027 Tears for Fears

2010-04-30T16:57:00.000-07:00

Last night everyone got all drunkenly emoooo, woke up this morning with a hungry jacks onion ring mooshed into my pillow, brain was fried and apparently something totally died in my mouth overnight.

Florence makes me feel like everything's going to be ok.

#026 Voltron Star Shooter

2010-04-29T16:33:00.000-07:00

I still have a briefcase of transformers circa '85 at my olds that I STILL play with like a giggly five year old whenever I'm home. I actually hide them from my niece and nephew I'm that much of a psycho about them.

On time I walked in on them both, transformers scattered from corner to corner and screamed 'THESE ARE NOT TOYS' while frantically scooping them up like a maniac.

That kinda psycho.

#025 A sad sad day for good hair everywhere...

2010-04-29T00:30:00.000-07:00

The first day I started using this product I got laid three times in the same weekend. I don't care that it costs fourty bones, I'd rather not eat than not have it.

My dilemma now it's been discontinued, is whether my hunger strike/sit in at the Kerestase head office will actually be effective or not...

#024 A lotta love

2010-04-28T23:39:00.000-07:00

I love dust for Love your bike. Love yer work. *hugs*

#023 Wee Gem

2010-04-28T22:38:00.000-07:00

(See what I did there)

Op shop/Vintage bookstore 50c finds freakin blow my mind. Was cleaning my desk today for my move over the tassy and re-found this wee beauty! A dusty 1967 catalogue of gem shapes I scored for FIFTY CENTS. I know right...

#022 Colour Palette

2010-04-28T22:08:00.000-07:00

I remember when I first discovered painting at high school, and our art room had fifty thousand kilometres of oil paint everywhere free game. I slapped that shit on so thick with a palette knife, standing back and launching in again all gestural and tortured artist like, it was amazing. I felt so aliiiiive. Sometimes it took weeks to dry and I'd spend hours getting it off me but was toootally worth it.

Three years later when I casually walked into an art store post high school to purchase said oil paints, I realised I could continue painting in oils...or eat for the next three months. I was fucking devastated. I think I walked out all dejected about my tortured artist life plan being destroyed and chain smoked for an hour.

Hey Francoise Nielly. Thanks for reminding me about that pal. Thanks a whoooole bunch.

#021 Crystal meth

2010-04-27T21:02:00.000-07:00

I enjoy Kylie McKenzie. She's fun. I also enjoy Kylie McKenzie's new crystal print singlet for Jimmy D.

It reminds me of the good ol crystal pagan hippy days where my dreaded self smoked copious amounts of weed while wasting away at an arts degree, and the time I woke up from an afternoon slumber and realised all I had to do the whole day was find someone to buy my 'crystal collection' so I could get a 40 ounce for the weekend...

#020 M.I.A's issues with le ginge

2010-04-26T23:41:00.000-07:00

Jesus, hands up who else thinks French director Romain Gavras (of Justice's 'Stress' clip fame) has a few issues.

24 hours and banned from Youtube already, M.I.A's new clip for 'Born free' is Ginger Genocide on steroids, with no doubt the tongues of the masses wagging about the 'symbolism' of rounding redheads in a paddy wagon and nailing the fuck out of them will dominate over dinner tables for a while. (revenge on British imperialism/American racists...)

Am I the only who think's the 'gritty cinematic indulgence' of nine minute shock tactic video's are getting a little bit yawn-fest?

(Is it wrong that I may or may not have found the naked fat junkies having junkie sex more offensive than the redhead innihilation?)

God I love Romain Gavras.

#019 Hi Bois

2010-04-26T22:02:00.000-07:00

Fuck me. I spend a whole weekend in Sydney trying to find a lush black pair of soft hightops before I head back to Wellies, then find them at Ruban's Good as gold by to be...in Wellies.
Handmade oversized lush soft leather foot hugging goodness in NZ dollars anyone?

FUCK YEAH.

#018 clients from hell

2010-04-26T21:40:00.001-07:00

Freelace clients often blow my mind with their retardation. One from today:

Client: We need some labels similar to the ones our friends are doing in the picture. They need to be 10mm (w) x 5mm (h)
Me: You mean cm?
Client: oh yeah!
Me: are you sure that's the right way round? The ones in the picture are portrait
Client: what do you mean portrait?
Me: ah...like. 'up and down' instead of 'sideways' which we call...'landscape?'
Client: how come?
Me: *sigh* When you take a photograph and take a 'portrait' of someone you take it...up and down, when you take a photograph of some...hills for example, 'landscape', you usually go...lengthways.
Client: But I've taken photos of hills up and down before and they turned out GREAT!!!

Me: *slowly props himself up on ledge of 14th floor balcony*

#017 I love this cheese

2010-04-26T19:38:00.000-07:00

I booze. A lot. And I fucking LOVE bread. So something has to give, and I constantly cower away from cheese and chocolate n shit to kinda...balance me out. My flatmate's girlfriend is German and loves cheese so much I basically go into the fridge blind to avoid the ridiculous plethora of cheese varieties trying to taint my ingredient needs on a daily basis.

So sometimes I sit back, gaze out the window and fantasise about crashing a Baby Bell management exec meeting with this video and going 'You wanna sell cheese? I mean really sell cheese? You use fucking Sarah Silverman to sell your cheese and you'll sell fucking cheese motherfucker' then like, do some real street savvy handsignal and...maybe like headspin on the boardroom table or some shit...

#016 Wutang Pizza

2010-04-23T00:23:00.000-07:00

amazing.

# 015 Cloud Control

2010-04-22T17:17:00.000-07:00

Well aren't you guys just lovely.

#014 Imagine

2010-04-19T18:17:00.000-07:00

I may or may not have gone through a stage where I revisited making forts in the lounge, after I figured out my semi circle couch was totally gagging for it.

Unfortunately I was 28.

Tim MacPherson photographically taps into that world, revisiting memories from when we had the passion to create anything from nothing.

...and manages to avoid the awkward moment where his flatmates walk in on him in his sheet hut eating cheesy mousetraps on a picnic blanket.

#013 What the font

2010-04-19T17:20:00.000-07:00

Gotta love it when something as tiring as finding typeface inspiration for a project can give you a 'giggle/I know what you're saying brother' as well as making the job easier.

Cue: Julian Hansen's So you need a typeface flow chart.

Oh c'mon, deep down we all love a good font gag...

#012 The human camera

2010-04-19T17:07:00.001-07:00

Most people who know me have come face to face with my extraordinary ability to lose things. To save face I have this wee speech about having a photographic memory, and seeing as I never wear my glasses/contacts, I put shit down and the photo I take is so blurry, I don't remember where it was taken. I've told this story SO many times I almost believe it...

Enter the human Camera. *bursts through paper hoop to thunderous applause*

You may remember this out of control guy with autism from the email rounds a few years back, 35 minutes around Rome in a helicopter, then three days to completely reconstruct a panoramic view of what he saw in three days. TO THE LAST WINDOW.

Anyways, he's in Sydney next week in Circular quay drawing the city live.

Fuck I love how people with Autism are the closest things we have to superhero's...

#011 1am magazine - post no bills

2010-04-19T00:26:00.000-07:00

Yet again, Glen Hunt (ex- Pavement magazine fame) is scraping coins from under couch cushions and avoiding 'private number' calls on his cell after yet again he has bankruptcy proceedings all up in his face.

The $31,238 printing debt, for the first issue of his new fashion mag endevour 1am, was due to the magazine struggling 'as a result of the recession, which made it harder to get advertising, and printers being hardline on late bills.'

Hey, I may be crazy, but maybe it's the lack of content, information, reputation for not paying bills and the overuse of half naked prepubescent 12 year old models that makes advertisers uneasy. Yes, we've been here before Glen. Remember the same complications we had with Pavement? *knuckle rubs* Who's a silly boy then.

#010 Street art by Hyuro

2010-04-18T19:23:00.000-07:00

At a time where pasting and street art is on the verge of 'seen it all before-ville', stumbling across Hyuro, (Born in Argentina - working in Spain) is a whimsical 'line and silhouette game' breath of fresh air.

#009 Gaga - Dubstep remixxx

2010-04-18T17:43:00.000-07:00

Yusss...finally a dirty dubstep gaga remix I can play around my straight friends without them groaning me outta the room...

#008 Catching thieves

2010-04-18T17:19:00.000-07:00

Thieving's so eighties. Especially from touring artists in a world where Facebook and Twitter make hunting your thieving ass down a matter of hours.

"Does anyone know this guy (on the left)? He stole Talib Kweli's laptop and mobile... the guys at Espy St Kilda are trying to track him down....His profile here"

Within hours on Sunday, Talib's twitter account had published his name/workplace/Uni/landline number/address/facebook profile, a video + pic of him at the venue and the entire Melbourne Hip-Hop collective was on the prowl.

Hate to be you Amir bashir from Ali Baba's. Brother got owned. And blacklisted, from every notable venue in Melbourne + Sydney.

Shame.

#007 Gaggle o guido

2010-04-16T03:54:00.000-07:00

Interview's Jersey Shore interview (+ Terry Richardson shoot), digging deep (and I use that term loosely) into the hopes, dreams and penis piercings of the Jersey shore boys reminds me why I watch so much reality tv. To feel better about myself.

"Everywhere I go there's just mass amounts of people. There's people showing up at airports, wanting autographs, girls, it'as insane. It's like the beatles man."

*slaps forehead*

Hands up who else clapped and snickered when 'The Situation' got owned and Sam hooked up with Ronnie...

#006 nom nom nom

2010-04-15T23:18:00.000-07:00

Soooo while moving back to a Wellies winter has me close to self harming, the flipside of restocking on winter woolies is actually keeping the blades at bay...

...and this B:SCOTT wee gem from Brandon Scott, has me wiping tears from my cheeks that the gods have created 'Hungover horizontal position with duvet and schnitzel watching Reality TV' in a goddamned hoody.